Feeding the Monster

It's time to get to the gritty - not necessarily with anger but with truth.
Powerlessness is something I abhor feeling - more than anything. More than being alone, and more than fear it debilitates me, in fact I would go as far as saying it fuels the fire of all those emotions I struggle with in my day to day life.

I know I'm not unique to this situation and I know many suffer this frustration in silence. I've tried to find ways to empower myself by looking online and finding motivational quotes or self help. Let me stop you right there if you're thinking about it - I don't want to say it's all crap but I'm going to say IT'S ALL CRAP.

For myself - I feel I more than likely misunderstood it and took it the wrong way or it just came from a perspective that I don't necessarily appreciate. Let me explain to you what I'm talking about:

I know I've been out of shape for a while and that's okay I've had my reasons but I decided that I would look up this "Insanity" workout craze which I honestly do believe to be just a phase of marketing that will end in about a year. Regardless I want to workout, I want to feel good and I want to feel stronger. I'm looking for a sense of stability within myself.
I started to watch the introduction to the video and a few quotes stood out to me:

"Even people who were fit could not keep up with this workout! It's only for the strong willed"
"People who were brought on to the program were tested and we weeded out those who tried to be lazy" (of course while they showed this part they filmed an Indian man struggling to coordinate)
"This workout is not for the lazy - so if you feel that way GO HOME."

Motivating isn't it? It makes you just want to go start running a marathon doesn't it? You wanna be soooo hardcore don't you?

I'm sure you've also debated with yourself and said stuff like "What are you a pussy? You aren't a whiny little pussy are you?!" and that's going to work until the day you are sick, or tired, or injured and you can't a workout then what happens? Then you realize you fed the wrong furnace and before you know it you continue to feed that same fire that you're petrified of overtaking you. 

I'm sure Shaun T wants the best for you fitness wise (nope probably just wants to fill his pockets) but don't bully yourself to get where you need to go. Push yourself by all means do so and don't give up but always remember in the end you're doing this to love yourself, because you deserve it! you deserve to feel good.

You can throw out all the trolling shit like "oh you're being overly sensitive" but honestly when you talk to a little impressionable child like this: "IF YOU'RE FEELING LAZY GO HOME!" do you honestly think they're going to be motivated? "This is ONLY FOR THE TOUGH PEOPLE" i.e. only for a select few - you can't be included. 

Reverse psychology might work on some but I'm just pointing out something I feel is important - be aware of what you're saying to yourself and whether you're being helpful or hurtful. I've been there and I know I've been hurtful to myself. 

Here's a little tune to help you ponder this too: