I hate both of you.

I had to sleep on this one which was hard considering my mind was racing - I was angry. (yay my favorite place!!! not really)

I have discussed this in sorts in a prior blog and also through my art in someways. This being the topic of being multicultural or in the middle.

I'm not going to sit here and say I know how everyone in the world feels to a T but I know how I feel about being stuck in the middle of something. I am a middle child, I'm also the only girl within my siblings, and I have been in the middle of my parents battles all my life.

Now I face another reality - being from the Middle East and in the middle of the East vs. West battle.
How am I in the middle you ask? I'm sure you're all going to be surprised that I would even think that!
You don't hate me - you just dislike the bad guys right? -The "bad" guys are either side.

Let me get this out there once and for all: I am Arabic, I will always be Arabic, until I turn to dust I still will be Arabic and I am proud of that. I wasn't raised to be violent, and gracious white western hands of purity did NOT bless me with the ability to think for myself or seek freedom of mind and choice.

Freedom - is not a western ideal. Freedom is a human ideal. No one in this world is allowed to take that away from me and to label it as East or West or Religion based or lack of.

Yesterday a Norwegian girl was arrested in Dubai after reporting a rape. I don't understand the details of the story and I do not believe she should have been arrested. Regardless of the logistics of this case - be it the blatantly discriminatory laws within the Middle East or the lack of understanding of what life in the Middle East is like, what gets me the most is the comments, and the remarks that you get from both sides when the sparring begins.

OH MY GOD. It makes me boil.

Another example was this documentary that I couldn't even start to watch on modern day slavery in Dubai - because I couldn't get past the youtube comments.

I am in no way or shape making excuses for how horrible conditions are. They are terrible, awful, and no one should be subjected to them. But like a beaten housewife if you choose to stay, and you know your husband is going to beat you - you're not helping the situation.

I'm tired of seeing comments like this:

Arabs are mean people
I hate Arabs
You guys are rich and you don't deserve your money!
Your laws are terrible and you must be terrible!
I hope you all die
vs
Islam keeps people clean
We have less STD's because of less promiscuity!
We have better rights for women
Get out of our country!
You are filthy and with no morals!

There's a million versions of each of those of course.

How am I supposed to feel, like I'm excluded from all that? What have I as an individual done - to inherit all this hatred from people I don't know and will more than likely never know?

I like Westerners, I appreciate the expats that have come to the Middle East to work and to educate me in a different language. I've made many close western friends and consider some family. As for being perfect?...

How about my third grade teacher who took a Somali kid out of class, told him to take off his shoes and sprayed Air Refresher in his shoes because he said they smelled bad. Funny no one else in the class thought that they smelled bad.

Or how about how I have to be humiliated through airports or embassies? I'm your friend right? An ally? Is this how friends are treated?

As for the East Asians who are mistreated:

How about the Indian men who have either groped me here and there while I was at a store when I was 14 years old? I know conditions of living are horrible but does that really warrant my ass being grabbed while I'm looking at toys?
None of this is made up - I wish it were. I'm such a mean Arab I never got that person deported.

And As for Arabs:

I've been groped, hit on by 12 years old boys, aggressively treated by 15 year old boys, bullied by Qatari girls, discriminated against because my family is Shi'a. We're all just so peaceful and loving in our culture. Families dictating what each others lives should be but not actually living through the pain of an individual.
Laws that can't be changed, that are dictated through a majority of a religion which you have to be BY LAW - the list goes on.

Here's my biggest question - as supposed educators and advocates of peace why is that so many continue to spread the hate instead of actually educating and not force feeding your own ideals on to people? (Directed at all people by the way).
You want to be peaceful and fair - be the peace you seek to preach.
If you treat someone like crap, and you tell them they're crap, do you really think they are going to miraculously rise to the occasion and be happy with you - and treat you well? There aren't many people in the world like that.

Last but not least - if you hate being in the Middle East so bad stop being bought and boycott. Many come here for a "better" life - the Middle East is by far nowhere near perfect. Are your countries perfect? Why aren't you working there? Easy to point your fingers at people from a different background but not at your own government now isn't it?

You should know from the get go when you get a visa and read the laws to BE CAREFUL.
I of all people know the laws are merciless and scrutinizing. How on earth do you think I feel?
I can't even make the slightest changes to these rules. So do me a god damn favor, leave me and those like me out of this bickering. Both sides are at fault. BOTH OF THEM. Both are just as self entitled
But guess who always gets hurt? The people in the middle, we're just stuck in the crossfire.

So yes in the end you get what you wanted which is apparently more hatred - I hope you're happy.
You reap what you sow.