I've battled with this question quite a bit lately. The main reason I'm wondering this is because I feel like I'm at some sort of fork in a road, perhaps it's just my imagination and perhaps it's hesitation, fear or who knows?
This past semester in school was my first semester back into sculpture and thinking truly as conceptually as I would like to. I feel however, even though I was deep in my thoughts with my work, and convinced that what I was doing mean't something at the time I was doing it, it all fell flat when it came to my grades or the responses I got.
A thought that's been gnawing at me lately and I haven't confronted it fully yet. The thought is, what if I'm not an artist but just an appreciator of art? What if I value other people's thoughts, feelings, depictions more than my own?
I have too much on plate when it comes to the reality of my life. How far do I have to leap for art in order for it to be worth something to me, and others? Do I relinquish my sleep, my sanity, my eating, for something that in the end is just a matter of opinion?
People always tell me, that opinion is just that, but I can't get past understanding how opinion still holds so much sway in everything from grades to the shoes you wear and in what flies or dies in this world. How can I say it's nothing, when it's everything?
My relationship with art has felt strained, and forced, not in the sense that I'm forcing myself to be an artist, but I have this idea that I will never scale with anyone ever, so what is the point of my voice being heard? I do think I try, but is it worth the energy if it always falls on deaf ears?
If I were to try and answer my own question I would say this: Passion doesn't die, but it can lay dormant. The choice of dying with it dormant is all yours, but how do you wake it?
Are the people whose opinions I hold so greatly worth anything at all? Is a grade, just an opinion?
Society has a way of fucking itself over, and then people wonder why they're so fucked up. Make it stop.
This past semester in school was my first semester back into sculpture and thinking truly as conceptually as I would like to. I feel however, even though I was deep in my thoughts with my work, and convinced that what I was doing mean't something at the time I was doing it, it all fell flat when it came to my grades or the responses I got.
A thought that's been gnawing at me lately and I haven't confronted it fully yet. The thought is, what if I'm not an artist but just an appreciator of art? What if I value other people's thoughts, feelings, depictions more than my own?
I have too much on plate when it comes to the reality of my life. How far do I have to leap for art in order for it to be worth something to me, and others? Do I relinquish my sleep, my sanity, my eating, for something that in the end is just a matter of opinion?
People always tell me, that opinion is just that, but I can't get past understanding how opinion still holds so much sway in everything from grades to the shoes you wear and in what flies or dies in this world. How can I say it's nothing, when it's everything?
My relationship with art has felt strained, and forced, not in the sense that I'm forcing myself to be an artist, but I have this idea that I will never scale with anyone ever, so what is the point of my voice being heard? I do think I try, but is it worth the energy if it always falls on deaf ears?
If I were to try and answer my own question I would say this: Passion doesn't die, but it can lay dormant. The choice of dying with it dormant is all yours, but how do you wake it?
Are the people whose opinions I hold so greatly worth anything at all? Is a grade, just an opinion?
Society has a way of fucking itself over, and then people wonder why they're so fucked up. Make it stop.
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