The days are rolling towards my departure on the 10th. The nerves haven't subsided yet. I can't wait to be able to take my anti anxiety pills on the plane.
The shopping for gifts has been going swell except for my empty wallet haha. All that's left is an order of twinkies and a few things here and there... last minute requests came in for some dresses.
I WILL TRY!
Still neurotically waiting for my dad's cheese making supplies - I still need to be cheese curds before I leave.
Don't worry I haven't forgotten myself - tokidoki unicorno! MINECRAFT SHIRT!!! (let your inner geek shine) ('A')/ .
... but all this is just distraction.
I've been hung up on Bon Iver's Skinny Love for the past few days. It's a sad song but most times I enjoy it happily today however it finally dawned me why it's been ringing in my head.
For the longest time I've felt crushed over my relationship with my region of the world and it's landmine mountain of problems.
I am proud of being Arabic. It may not be in the same way other Arabs are and it's difficult feeling like that's okay. Six months ago I was struggling at home with my family and cultural barriers - be it how the Middle East is in complete turmoil politically and religiously. I long for the day where we can just set aside so many of our differences and just celebrate how beautiful our region of the world really is.
There's so much money being exchanged for life - paper is worth more than a human life. Excuses made by all sect leaders to kill others. Life being limited, everything becoming sin. It's no wonder some people take their lives a long with others. I don't know the pain of those living in a war zone. I pray I never do. My country is walking a thin line of being the Middle Man. In the end it will bit in the ass.
At times I've felt like we're just in the calm before the storm. We take for granted that "nothing" serious happens in Qatar. We don't always know what goes on. We're living blind and just dealing with adversity of bad decisions be it lack of specialist doctors, medicine, decent roads, decent drivers, in what's supposedly the richest country in the world. The politics are really out of our hands. We just have to keep our mouths shut, heads down and keep on consuming products and pretending that the loudmouth behavior of our male youth and the overly pampered nature of our females is normal. Who am I though? if I speak I'm sure I'll just get talked back to - there's always someone loud enough, or in power enough to shut someone like me up. Also as always "I'm not Arab enough".
I want to contribute to the Middle East in a different way. Not through flaunting money, or a boisterous attitude that many Khaleeji people seem to think defines them. Arrogance and self entitlement doesn't earn you respect. However I can say I'm not the representative they want despite the fact that I do in fact love my home. I told myself I'd do it anyway through art. I hope that I'll someday have some kind of positive effect in the Middle East.
So:
Come on skinny love just last the year
The shopping for gifts has been going swell except for my empty wallet haha. All that's left is an order of twinkies and a few things here and there... last minute requests came in for some dresses.
I WILL TRY!
Still neurotically waiting for my dad's cheese making supplies - I still need to be cheese curds before I leave.
Don't worry I haven't forgotten myself - tokidoki unicorno! MINECRAFT SHIRT!!! (let your inner geek shine) ('A')/ .
... but all this is just distraction.
I've been hung up on Bon Iver's Skinny Love for the past few days. It's a sad song but most times I enjoy it happily today however it finally dawned me why it's been ringing in my head.
For the longest time I've felt crushed over my relationship with my region of the world and it's landmine mountain of problems.
I am proud of being Arabic. It may not be in the same way other Arabs are and it's difficult feeling like that's okay. Six months ago I was struggling at home with my family and cultural barriers - be it how the Middle East is in complete turmoil politically and religiously. I long for the day where we can just set aside so many of our differences and just celebrate how beautiful our region of the world really is.
There's so much money being exchanged for life - paper is worth more than a human life. Excuses made by all sect leaders to kill others. Life being limited, everything becoming sin. It's no wonder some people take their lives a long with others. I don't know the pain of those living in a war zone. I pray I never do. My country is walking a thin line of being the Middle Man. In the end it will bit in the ass.
At times I've felt like we're just in the calm before the storm. We take for granted that "nothing" serious happens in Qatar. We don't always know what goes on. We're living blind and just dealing with adversity of bad decisions be it lack of specialist doctors, medicine, decent roads, decent drivers, in what's supposedly the richest country in the world. The politics are really out of our hands. We just have to keep our mouths shut, heads down and keep on consuming products and pretending that the loudmouth behavior of our male youth and the overly pampered nature of our females is normal. Who am I though? if I speak I'm sure I'll just get talked back to - there's always someone loud enough, or in power enough to shut someone like me up. Also as always "I'm not Arab enough".
I want to contribute to the Middle East in a different way. Not through flaunting money, or a boisterous attitude that many Khaleeji people seem to think defines them. Arrogance and self entitlement doesn't earn you respect. However I can say I'm not the representative they want despite the fact that I do in fact love my home. I told myself I'd do it anyway through art. I hope that I'll someday have some kind of positive effect in the Middle East.
So:
Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall
And I told you to be patient
And told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different "kind"
I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines
Come on skinny love what happened here
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full; so slow on the split
And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And now all your love is wasted?
And then who the hell was I?
And now I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines
Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall
And I told you to be patient
And told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different "kind"
I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines
Come on skinny love what happened here
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full; so slow on the split
And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And now all your love is wasted?
And then who the hell was I?
And now I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines
Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?
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